So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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