yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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