my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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