he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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