And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
