Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
