Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
