i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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