she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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