I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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