Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
