the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
