How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
