just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
