noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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