was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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