i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
