Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
