Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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