my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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