awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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