ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
