I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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