Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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