Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
