Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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