my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
