everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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