Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
