Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
