Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
