You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
