Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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