you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
