Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
