Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
