I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
