I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
