Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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