She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize