Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
