Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
