9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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