I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
