Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
