the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
