STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
