i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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