Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
