what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
