thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
