The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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