you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
