If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
