we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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