my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize