Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
