the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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