come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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