Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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