did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
