Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
