Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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