If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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