you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
