Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize